forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
