Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
