No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
