he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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