I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
