but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
