I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize