I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
