Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
