We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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