So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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