been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize