ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
sarcasm needs its own font
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize