i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
