is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
