I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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