haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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