exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
