I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
