Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
