Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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