you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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