my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
