Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
