I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
