Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
