We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I want to be your penis for a week.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
