I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize