He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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