i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
