Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
