There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
