I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
