I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
