He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
