Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You are a genius and a whore.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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