I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
