I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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