She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize