im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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