You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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