it was like having sex with a tree stump
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
