and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
