I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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