shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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