brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
