Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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