They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
