Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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