Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
