My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
