The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I need moral support for this bender
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
