Duck Duck Cougar?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
