Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
