Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
