Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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